Becoming a Church of Love

Yesterday I received two somewhat surprising responses to my sermon. First, I received several comments about when would I be free to go run or work out (To be honest, I did not think that part of my sermon would catch on so much.). But more seriously, I talked with a member who felt like Southside really needed to hear that lesson – particularly, about loving one another. That took me a back a little. I always assumed that love is a great strength of our church. After all, our vision is to be a “place of mercy.” But as this member talked with me, I was reminded of the great challenge we have here at Southside.

By the grace of God, Southside has become a fairly diverse church. I tend to describe our Sunday worship assembly like this. If you were to grab 5 random people on Sunday morning, one would be a recovering addict, one would be under 18, one would be over 65, and the other two would be a part of a young or middle family. One of those five would not be white. That description alone shows diversity and I have not even talked about other differences in our church body like interests, theology, single/married, etc. You put all of those categories together and Southside is an assorted group of people. While it is good to have variety, the challenge becomes how do we learn to love one another, despite our differences.

As Peter wrote those words to the Asian churches, they were probably struggling in the same way. The Roman Empire was not monolithic. We know New Testament churches were made up of different ethnicities (Jew/Gentile), income status (slave/free), and genders (male/female) (see Gal. 3:28 for example). Peter knew that in saying those words, this was not going to be easy. That is why he reminded them that God helps us do this and God is praised as a result.

I find it pretty easy to love those I like. People who are similar to me, who are interested in the same things as I am, and are my age, I have no problem loving them. But those who are different than me – it is a little harder. Now don’t get me wrong, it is not hard to be friendly to everyone. But that is not what we are talking about. Sometimes we think love is being nice or friendly. However that is not love. Love is deeper. It is choosing to want the best for another person. It is praying for them, spending time with them, learning about them, having them over for dinner. It is overlooking faults, forgiving the past, and helping to bear burdens. It is not pity or sentimentality. It is truly caring for the welfare of another person and being willing to do whatever that person needs to grow closer to Christ. I think that member was right; this is an area that we all need to grow in.

What about you? How do you feel about the love at Southside? Do you struggle in loving a person “different” than you in some way?

Suffering to be a Faithful Christian?

I was not at Southside yesterday and Lindsay, the kids, and I are in Minneapolis. In a little bit, I will be attending my first doctorate class. While I did not get to hear Dan preach, I am sure that it was thought-provoking and I would love to hear your thoughts.

Through First Peter, the motif of suffering is very pervasive. It is mentioned 11 times throughout the book. One scholar said, "The issue is not that or what the early Christians are suffering, but how to make sense of suffering." Basically it is just assumed that these Christians are going to suffer and he tries to offer some theological help in trying to deal with it. But here's my question. As I have read through Peter several times, I have had the sneaking suspicion that this assumption and expectation of suffering is not just for those early Christians in the first century, but also for Christians in general. I know there situation was a little different than ours, but should it be that we are to be living in such a peculiar way that there might be some suffering involved? I mean not just a hard time (non-Christians have hard times), but actual ridicule, physical harm, unjust treatment, etc because of our faith in Christ. If that is the case, what does that mean for Christians whose life is relatively easy and comfortable?

I would love to hear from some of you what you feel the role of suffering is in the life of Christian and how it might be felt (or is being felt) by 21st century American Christians today.

What is Submission?

The question came up over the weekend in the talk about marriage/relationships in regards to the word “submission.” The Bible uses that word several times in relation to the wife’s posture before her husband (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; 1 Pet. 3:1), yet it can be difficult to define what that looks like.

Within our culture, submission is a bad word. We are raised to think that we should “be our own man (or woman, as the case may be).” I have heard people say before, “When someone told me I could not do it, that gave me all the more motivation to do it.” While that attitude works for accomplishing the impossible, it does not translate well into submission within marriage. How do we learn the aspect of submission when we live in a culture that tells us that is the one thing you should not do?

To compound the problem, many women are in marriages where the husband is not very loving towards his wife. Maybe he is abusive – physically or verbally – or maybe he is not very strong spiritually. Maybe he has some deep spiritual struggles or even does not believe at all. Every woman has a husband who makes wrong decisions, is not as spiritually strong as he should be, and does not lead as good as he could. So what does submission mean then?

On top of all of this, does submission simply mean doing what the husband wants done or can a wife express displeasure? Should a husband give in to his wife at times? How often should a wife yield to her husband’s will? Should she do this even if she disagrees with her husband’s decision? These are all tough questions that probably are answered differently in every marriage.

Certainly a husband is to love his wife sacrificially (or as Dr. Milholland said, “die for her”). That means he should not get his way all the time either – after all, Jesus did not get “his way” (according to Lk. 22:42; Heb. 5:8), when he went to the cross. Yet repeatedly, Paul asked the wives to submit voluntarily toward their husbands.

So what does this look like in the 21st century? I would love to hear from different sisters about how they understand the command of submission and to hear how you have made this “work” within your marriage.

Link to Steve's Sermon (July 4, 2010)

Develope a Harmonious Marriage (July 4, 2010)

www.archive.org/details/DevelopAHarmoniousMarriage

A Peculiar Way of Dressing

I have an interesting story from yesterday. After preaching on marriage from 1 Pet. 3, I had an older couple come up to me – individually (I don’t think the one knew that the other spoke to me.) First, the wife approached me and remarked that the kind of husband that I was describing in my sermon (one who treats her wife with honor) was her husband. Virtually with tears in her eyes, she said that he was a perfect husband. A little bit later, the husband came up to me and told me that I had left one statement out of my sermon. I asked, “What was that?” He said, “Yes, dear!” Later on, I wondered if saying the phrase, “Yes, dear,” connects with the description of being referred to as a “perfect husband.” Does anyone else have some thoughts from yesterday’s sermon?

Two verses that I did not mention very much yesterday, but are power-packed are 1 Pet. 3:3-4. They are the verses that declare that a wife’s adornment should not be external things like braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, etc, but the hidden quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. The word translated “adornment” in this verse is literally “world.” Peter does not want Christian women to dress as the “world” does, but in a different way. It is thought that Roman women would show off their wealth and status by how they dressed, but for Christians this was not to be the case. Their focus was to be on the inside.

Yet I get the sneaking suspicion if Peter was to peer into our closets where our clothes are and if he noticed the time it takes for us to get ready, he might wander if we really believe that today. Our culture really entices us with the desire to look good. Being attractive in many ways is the most important currency of today. If you are beautiful or handsome, that opens up so many doors for you. People will want to speak with you, get to know you, and become your friend. I can even feel the pull at church. Who is the guest that I want to talk to more – the handsome young couple that just walked in or the man with disheleved hair and an untucked shirt? Slowly we teach our children that you need to look good. Don’t be immodest, of course, but be attractive. But is that even possible today? I think Peter’s words have a lot of kick to them as he challenges us to think differently (or should I say peculiarly) about our dress. Instead of focusing on dressing the outside, dress the inside, Peter declares. That’s easier said than done, Peter!

What is your response to Peter’s words in 3:3-4? I would love to hear from some of our sisters on how these verses challenge you. God bless your week.